Next time you do the drunky grab and get slapped at the bar, here's your excuse: "But, I only wanted to stop the cancer!" With those words, you're magically a savior and a gentleman instead of some skeezy lonely perv.

In all seriousness, don't go around grabbing tatas. You can get arrested. But, new research does show that squeezing breasts can prevent cancer, because it stops malignant cells from growing. The pressure causes the cells to revert back to normal growth patterns. Imagine a lump of sand. You step on it. The sand smooths back out into it's normal shape. That's how I picture this going down in my head. MORE